What Is the Talking Stage?
The talking stage is the ambiguous pre-dating period where two people are getting to know each other through texting and casual hangouts but haven't defined their relationship or established exclusivity.
What Defines the Talking Stage
The talking stage sits between matching on a dating app and officially dating. You text regularly, might go on dates, and there is clear mutual interest — but neither person has committed. It is a try-before-you-buy period that has become a standard step in modern dating. The talking stage didn't exist as a concept before dating apps because traditional dating inherently involved more deliberate courtship.
How Long Should It Last
Relationship experts generally suggest the talking stage should last 2-6 weeks. Shorter than that and you may not know enough to commit. Longer than that and one or both parties may be avoiding commitment. If you have been in the talking stage for months, it has likely become a situationship by default. Clear communication about expectations early on prevents endless ambiguity.
Navigating the Talking Stage
The biggest mistake people make is treating the talking stage as a period where they cannot express needs or preferences. You absolutely can — and should. Ask what they are looking for, share what you want, and pay attention to whether their actions match their words. The talking stage is an audition, not a sentence.
Related terms
FAQ
Is the talking stage the same as dating?
+Not quite. Dating implies intentional, planned meetings and usually some level of mutual acknowledgment that you are exploring a romantic connection. The talking stage is more ambiguous — you might not have even met in person yet.
Can you talk to multiple people during the talking stage?
+Generally yes, since no exclusivity has been established. However, transparency matters. If someone directly asks, honesty builds trust even in the early stages.
How do you move past the talking stage?
+Someone has to initiate the conversation about what you are. A simple 'I'm really enjoying getting to know you — what are you looking for?' opens the door without pressure.
What first impression do you make?
Anonymous. Instant. 30 seconds.
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